The Littlest Leprechaun
by SkyeRose
Summary: Or That Time It Was All Daniel's Fault-On a planet straight out of a folktale, SG-1 finds they've bitten off more than they can chew. Daniel's gone bonkers, Sam's all wet, Jack's caught with his pants down, and we found Teal'c's off switch! SamJack fluffy fun! Three parter
1. Chapter 1

**The Littlest Leprechaun Or That Time It Was All Daniels' Fault**

**Chapter One: Somewhere Over the Rainbow**

**A/N: Hello! A long hiatus, I'm sorry. But it's summer again which means more time to write! I actually wrote this for St. Patricks' Day 2013, but it never got posted. So, better late than never! This is a ridiculous piece of…I don't really know what. Nothing serious, just good fun!**

**Enjoy!**

Sam, Jack, Daniel, and Teal'c all stood just a little ways from the Stargate, staring out at the landscape in front of them.

"Um…is anyone else seeing this?" Jack turned to look at his second, who looked equally confused. Never a good sign.

"Yes, sir." Her eyes were sweeping over the planet, trying to make sense of what her visual cortex was telling her.

"Daniel?" Jack turned to the archaeologist.

"Yep." He had taken his glasses off and was busily wiping them off on his shirt. Also not a good sign.

"T?" A small plea had entered the colonel's voice as he turned to his last hope.

"I have never before seen anything like this, O'Neill." Teal'c's face was a mask of Jaffa confusion. Really, really not a good sign.

"So…what should we do?" Jack looked back at Sam who gave him a look that clearly said, 'That's your job, sir.' Jack sighed, eyeing his surroundings. "It's just creepy." He shuddered slightly.

"I don't know, Jack. It's kind of…" Daniel trailed off, gesturing with his hand.

"Pretty." Sam finished.

Jack rolled his eyes, looking forward. The grass was up to his knees and so green it almost hurt to look at. But that wasn't the off-putting part. As far as the eye could see rainbows arced high into the sky. Huge, full, radiant rainbows. Some of them ended so close to the Stargate, Jack was tempted to reach out and touch them.

But he knew Carter would lecture him about water droplets and diffraction and blah, blah, blah. So he kept his hands at his sides. For now.

And it wasn't like the over abundance of rainbows really bothered him. Maybe it was just a really rainy planet. Like a rainforest without the forest part. No, it was the strange twittering that seemed to be emanating from the ground.

"Carter…can plants talk?" Jack eyed the grass warily, hand resting casually on his P-90.

Sam's stiffened slightly. "Sir?"

"I mean, I know you talk to your plants, so…" He grinned as she shot him a look. "I was wondering if they ever talk back."

"No, sir." She replied through gritted teeth, still polite, but enough edge to let him know she was not amused. Daniel coughed behind her and she turned in time to see him smother a smile.

"O'Neill." Teal'c's voice brought Jack back to the present. He had been thinking how cute Carter looked when she got huffy, but he quickly cleared his throat and his wandering mind.

"Teal'c?" He sensed the undercurrent of alarm in the big man's voice.

"Is the grass ahead stirring?" Jack, Sam, and Daniel all turned to where he was indicating. And it was, indeed, stirring.

"All right, hold positions. Maybe whoever it is doesn't know that we're-,"

But Daniel cut across him. "Hello? My name is Daniel Jackson. We're from a planet called Earth—we're explorers!"

Jack grimaced and squeezed his eyes closed briefly. That man…"Daniel. Shut. Up." Jack growled over his shoulder, his full attention on the moving grass in front of them. It had paused when Daniel first addressed it, but was now speeding towards them. "Carter!"

"Already on it, sir." Sam raised her zat and fired once into the thicket. A high-pitched squeal followed by even higher-pitched twittering followed. But the quality of sound had changed. It was almost like…laughter?

Jack opened his mouth to admonish Daniel when a little shape shot out of the grass and straight up into the air. Right in front of them a rainbow formed, colors blazing high into the sky. The little figure landed on soft feet right in front of Teal'c.

Without hesitation, Teal'c pointed his staff weapon down—way down. The little thing squeaked and ducked into the grass. Jack blinked in surprise, then jumped when Carter let out a little sound of alarm and twisted away from where she'd been standing. He was about to call out to her when something tickled his calf.

Jack jumped away and fired another zat blast. More laughter. He whirled to Daniel, ready to blame this all on him when he froze. There, standing lightly on the younger man's shoulder was…another man.

A very tiny, very green man. With the most mischievous smile Jack had ever seen. Daniel's eyes widened when he saw Jack's expression. "Jack?" The man's voice was tight and Jack knew that he knew something was wrong.

Occupied with their own miniature menaces, Sam and Teal'c didn't notice the little man just chilling on Daniels' shoulder until it was too late. "Daniel!" Sam shouted, but it was too late. The last thing any of them heard was tiny laughter rioting through the grass.

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two: The Issue of Underwear**

**A/N: Thank you for your wonderful feedback! Here's part two!**

Sam blinked as consciousness rushed back to her. She inhaled and sat up sharply, flashes of color bursting across her vision. They were still in the two foot high grass, just further away from the Stargate—it looked like a tiny speck on the horizon. _'Okay, don't panic.'_ She thought as her heart rate increased. Her vest and weapons were gone. Interestingly enough, so were her shoes.

Quietly, she rose to her knees, eyes narrowed as she tried to find her teammates through the waving grass. About four feet to her left was a distinctly colonel-shaped indent in the grass. Quickly, she crawled to him and placed a soft, but restraining hand on his shoulder. He jumped and she leaned close. "Sir, it's me. Are you okay?"

Jack blinked twice before responding. "My shoes…"

"Yes, sir. Mine too."

"Ah."

"Sam! Jack! Teal'c!" Daniel whisper-shouted, getting to his knees.

"We're here." Sam whispered, helping Jack to his knees, her hands resting on his arms just a tad too long. "Teal'c?"

"I don't know." Daniel shrugged, looking around.

"You know, of all of you, I never thought it would be Teal'c that I lost in the grass." Sam and Daniel shot him identical looks and he shrugged one shoulder in response. "I thought, if anything, it'd be you." He indicated Sam with his chin, an amused gleam in his eye. "Cause, you know, you're small."

"I am not." Sam rolled her eyes. "I'm taller than average, thank you."

Daniel watched this exchange with a frown plastered on his face. They were being…almost playful. But his thoughts were interrupted by a bellow coming from the nearby tree line.

"Relinquish your hold on me!"

The three human members of SG-1 all exchanged meaningful looks. "Teal'c!" They shouted and, momentarily forgetting their relatively vulnerable position, bolted to the forest. Teal'c was tied to a tree, four or five little green men hopping all over him.

Automatically, Jack reached into his front pants pocket where the bottom of the fabric had been cut away for easier access to the knife he kept strapped to his thigh. Ignoring the surprised look on his second's face, Jack slashed at the ropes. The little men screeched and fell away as Teal'c stood and shook them from his body.

"Alright! Whoever—_whatever_—you are, quit it!" Jack yelled, turning in a circle trying to find them. But they blended too easily with the grass.

"Hey!" Sam's indignant shout drew his attention and he turned, just as little hands started tugging her over her head. A small expanse of her pale skin was bared before she yanked the material down, sending the offending creatures tumbling to the ground.

"Carter-!" Jack moved to help his second, when her eyes widened and her hands shot to her chest. Seeing the movement and look of horror on her face, Jack assumed the worst and ran for his major, hands grasping her shoulders. "Carter! Are you okay?" She just shook her head at him, mouth agape. "What happened? Where are you hurt?" The panic in his voice made Daniels turn from his own struggles.

"They…they unhooked my bra." Her voice was strained with disbelief and she refused to meet his eyes.

"What?" But before she could explain further, several tiny hands flattened against his back and he toppled over, taking Sam with him. At the last second, he twisted his body and she landed on top of him. From this position, Jack could tell that they had, indeed, unhooked her bra.

"Colonel!" Sam cried out, more out of concern than propriety's sake.

But Jack thought she was referring to the new situation developing…down south. "Sidearm!" He yelled.

"O'Neill!" Teal'c yelled, batting away the little creatures. They made small "oof" noises whenever his big hand made contact, but it didn't deter them. They just kept coming. And then, in the middle of the chaos, Daniel began to laugh. Big, body-shaking guffaws. Sam and Jack looked up at him from their half-kneeling position and Teal'c raised an eyebrow before turning back to the things surrounding them.

"Daniel, this is no time for jokes! We need to get back to the gate!" Jack yelled, standing and hauling Sam to her feet in one motion.

"We?" Daniel gasped in between snorts.

"Yes, we!" Jack shouted, spinning Sam around and lifting her shirt.

"Sir!" Sam yelled, clutching the hem. As many times as she might have pictured this moment, it hadn't ever happened like this. Nope. No, siree.

Jack ignored her and quickly grabbed at the bra closures. Except they weren't there. The back of the bra was intact. Had she lied?

"It's a front closure, sir." Sam mumbled.

"What?" Jack's eyes widened and he could feel the waves of heat that were suddenly between them.

"Wee, Jack, wee!" Daniel shouted as he doubled over with laughter.

"That is enough!" Jack yelled. In the span of ten minutes this mission had gone from botched to bonkers. Teal'c was playing whack-a-mole with the little men, Daniel had lost his mind, and Carter…well, he couldn't even look at her for fear of doing something she might hate him for later.

"No!" Daniel gasped, shaking with mirth. "Wee! As in wee little people! They're leprechauns, Jack!" One of the so-called leprechauns grabbed the glasses of his face and the laughter stopped so suddenly it was light a switch had been flipped.

A moment of silence followed, where Sam and Jack looked from Daniel to each other. Then they burst out laughing too. Teal'c, having succeeding in swatting most of them away from him, reached down and plucked up the one who was holding the glasses hostage. He silently held out his hand and when the leprechaun refused, he raised his eyebrow and tilted his head dangerously.

The tiny man squealed and relinquished the glasses before covering his own eyes. Teal'c made an inscrutable face, then dropped him.

"Aw, Teal'c!" Sam said, momentarily forgetting her own predicament. "He was scared."

"I do not believe so, Major Carter." Teal'c nodded toward the troublemaker who was indeed smirking up at the big man. Without warning, Teal'c stiffened and his eyes widened.

**TBC**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three: The Shoe Conundrum**

**A/N: And here we are at the end. Thank you all for reading!**

**Enjoy!**

"Teal'c?" Daniel asked, taking the glasses from his outstretched hand.

"T? You okay, buddy?" The clearing had fallen eerily still and silent. "Teal'c?"

The Jaffa did not move and he did not reply. He merely stood there, staring straight ahead.

"Teal'c? Buddy? Did they hit your "off" switch?" Jack tried to rouse the big man as Daniel moved to inspect Teal'c's back. Maybe he'd been hurt? But when Daniel saw what had the man so startled, he cracked up again.

He had a wedgie. A massive one.

Daniel was willing to bet the Jaffa had never had one before. And he certainly didn't look as though he was enjoying it now.

"Teal'c?" Sam asked nervously. But she never got the chance to listen to his answer. A circular rainbow flew at her, sitting her square in the chest and drenching her entire body. Jack stared open-mouthed as her hands were forced from their protective postions.

Sam spluttered and swiped her dripping hair from her eyes. "Colonel!" She cried in warning, but it was too late. Before he had time to react, his belt had been removed and his pants pushed to his ankles. True to form, his boxers were adorned with little Homer Simpsons.

"Agh!" He managed to choke out and tried to yank them back up, but one of the little buggers grabbed his ankle and Jack went down face first.

Daniel collapsed as well, but only because his legs simply wouldn't hold up his hysterical form any longer. The leprechauns laughed with him as Teal'c slowly reached behind himself and laboriously pulled his pants from a place they should never have been in. Sam struggled to cover herself as she moved towards the colonel, stumbling as small hands pulled at her pants.

"Oh, hell." Sam turned on her heel, lifted her shirt, and reclasped her bra to the sad tune of the leprechauns protest. Turning, she dropped to her knees next to the colonel. "Sir?"

"Ow." He groaned.

"What's hurt?" Sam asked concernedly, rolling him over.

"My pride." He looked up at her and she smiled. "Carter?"

"Yes,sir?"

"I think it's time to go."

"Yes, sir." Sam grasped his hands and pulled, helping him to his feet. "Do you need help?" She indicated the pants pooled around his ankles. He glared at her. "Guess not. Daniel!"

The archaeologist was practically rolling on the floor. "Teal'c…wedgie…" He gasped.

"Yes, yes, hilarious." Sam fought the giggle that threatened to bubble into her throat. "Teal'c, help me, would you?"

Daniel struggled to calm himself, but he took one look at Sam, thought, 'wet T-shirt contest,' and burtst out laughing again. Sam eyed him warily and then she saw it. A little dart, no bigger than her pinky was sticking out of Daniel's leg. That had to be what was making him so delusional!

"Teal'c, grab Daniel. We're leaving. Now." Jack had finally sorted himself and was jerking his head in the direction of the 'gate. As he turned , one of the smallest leprechauns poked him in the side and Jack, startled, misstepped, almost tripping. He flung out his hands at the same time Sam reached to help him.

In some great cosmic joke, their hands ended up tangling and the littlest leprechaun jumped up and tapped the officers' entwined hands. A brief pause ensued in which Sam and Jack just stared at their joined hands, then they both smiled sheepishly and tried to pull away.

Except neither one let go.

Because they couldn't.

They were stuck.

Daniel, who had been tossed over the brooding Jaffa's shoulder, cracked up anew. "We must go, O'Neill." Teal'c moved out of the forest and began jogging toward the gate.

"But, our hands!" Jack shook their attached limbs.

"Come on, sir! We'll sort it out at the SGC!" Sam began running, dragging Jack behind her.

"Carter, as much as I'd otherwise enjoy this, slow down!"

Sam faltered for a second before pulling him along again. "Enjoy this, sir?" Her voice was teasing and Jack let a smile creep onto his face.

"What, you're not?" He teased back.

Sam laughed, the sound spiraling into the sky and mixing with hundreds of rainbows. "I always do, sir!" _'Who knew,' _she wondered. _'Maybe whatever had gotten into Daniel, had infected them too.'_

The familiar kawoosh greeted their ears and Teal'c nodded that it was safe to proceed. They ran for the gate and dove through.

"Shut it down!" Jack yelled, helping Sam to her feet. He'd be damned if any of those little leprechaun things followed them through.

"Do it!" Hammond yelled, before hurrying into the gateroom. He stopped dead upon seeing the state of his flagship team. Teal'c was staring at him stonily as he unceremoniously dumped a hysterical Daniel Jackson onto the metal ramp. As for his two officers, Major Carter was soaked and flushed while O'Neill's pants were beltless and he refused to look Hammond in the eye. His gaze traveled to their hands, which were joined tightly together.

For a moment, no one spoke. Then, finally finding his words, General Hammond addressed the team. "What happened to your shoes?"

**End**

**A/N: Silly, silly, silly. Please R and R!**


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